In a previous post, complaints were made about poor-quality Tops. I agree, and…
Let’s talk about WHY they are not adequate for many submissive’s needs. Back in the 1970’s, there were MANY wonderful, helpful mentors, leaders and role-models. They were the first to die, when AIDS kicked in.
They were NOT replaced. For all of these years, our Tribe has been deeply wounded, and what you’re seeing is how damaged we still are. In the absence of role-models and mentors, men are modeling their behavior upon porn, which is the shittiest-possible role-model.
NO man wants to be a badly-regarded Top. Rather than scorning that poor, lonely and unsure Sir that is doing the very best that he can, see if he’s available for some support on a personal level. Offer to show him a few inside tips on what a submissive (meaning YOU) really, really needs. He needs more confidence.
Everyone expects a Sir to already know stuff, as if it were built into our Y chromosome, and it’s NOT. It is a learned skill.
How do I know? I TEACH men like him, every week:
I honestly wish there were more understanding among the gay male community about this, and not just sexually, but socially.
There was an entire generation of devastation.
We lost a vast swathe of our male elders and their lives and experiences. Just gone. A square in a quilt.
We owe a HUGE debt to the Lesbian Community for stepping up and shouldering the burdens of dragging a terrified, mourning community forward.
We need to mourn those lost because of hate, fear, apathy, and inaction.
Fuck Anita Bryant.
Fuck Ronald Reagan.
Fuck the people who called a horrible disease ‘God’s wrath’.